CRACKING OPEN VICTIM MENTALITY
There are 3 re-occurring themes I have documented in taking a victim statements and conducting victim research.
1. It's not fair*
2. I didn't think it would happen to me...
3. I was waiting for someone to help me*
*there is nothing fair about sexual assault, causing bodily harm and depriving someone if their liberties, am I right?
*now with a response time of 20-25 minutes if emergency services are even alerted, there is only one person capable of saving you in a life threatening situation. The whole, 'be your own hero' meme might be gag corny but it is so fundamentally true in all aspects of our wellbeing.
But I really have an itch to expand on:
2. I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME.....
The older I get, the more case studies I integrate, the more I realise this is a half truth. Every woman at some stage has thought, in great detail, about 'what might happen to them'. They have thought about what they should wear, where they should walk, park, travel to prevent someone attacking them..... Having the shadowy thought that the person they about about to meet actually wants to kill them, not just date them/ interview them/ change a water filter/ share ride / [fill in your blank].
No. I need to expand this to "I was always afraid it would happen to me, I just didn't plan for it." I find this particularly true the older a person gets.
Here is the conflict, and the irony, if you will.
I am a huge believer in the law of attraction. Whether in physics or in esoteric teachings the saying 'where your thoughts go, your energy flows' is the cornerstone of cause and effect.
So how do I teach personal protection skills without generating fear?
My teaching involves brain hacking, or neuro shortcutting, so that my students think, develop and practice words and sentences to 'call out' offences as they are happening.
"Your touching my leg"
"Your touching my hair"
"Stop the car"
I remind you to prioritise safety over manners.
I activate that sovereign part of your being that radiates "Why not?" instead of "Why me?".
"Come at me life..." over "... come help me."
Because we have all had 2am conversations with invisible people reliving stronger, more powerful conversations. Admit it.
We yearn to flex our sovereignty.
RAVES is your future self coming back to teach you how to say it, like you mean it, in the moment that it matters.
I remember the first time I went to an ATM to withdraw money. It was ridiculous how scared, incompetent, fumbling, slow and ridiculous I was to the people waiting in line behind me. But weeks and years of habit and necessity removed the fear and instilled a practice so you can literally see an ATM quacke (or quack?) in fear as I approach it to ram my card in its mouth. Bow down before me money machine! People behind me watch my mastery!
RAVES is about facing down fear and creating patterns of empowerment.
You are more powerful then you realise and it is time you and I took the red pill, together.
Book into our RAVES Self Defence North Brisbane Session, or empower employees with RAVES at your workplace.
My friend and I were taught some great skills and had a lot of fun - such a serious topic but we had lots of laughs. Erin is amazing - she is warm and friendly and is really knowledgeable and experienced, I did this years ago and am glad I did it again - my friend and I are going to try and do this yearly to keep it fresh in our minds.