I have a story in me, that is niggling at my skull to be let out.

In 2018 I taught female refugees who are survivors of prolonged torture and violence.  

I will let that sentence sink in.

I met one young girl - 17 years old  from Afghanistan.  She had shrapnel scaring over her face, and a really funky Rolling Stones t-shirt.

During a break she stood quietly by herself, and I asked about her story.  I asked about her family.

"All dead," she said.

I will let that sink in.

She had limited english - she had only been in Australia for 8 months.  A male family friend smuggled her into a Greek refugee camp.  One night she awoke to find this "Uncle" on top of her.  When she tried to scream he tried to rip her trachea from her throat to silence her.

He is now in jail for attempted murder in Greece.  Any of my Police colleagues who have worked for the Feds or UN know that she must have very nearly been decapitated for this charge to have 'got up'.

I asked her what she wanted to be?
She said, "I just want to learn, to go to school, to learn."

She is utterly alone in this world.  Alone, utterly deprived of a childhood and family and safety from the moment she was born.  

But we can do something.  This is not just about money.  We can also choose what words we use, what thoughts we have, what energy we give out, choose love over fear.  Choose connection instead of separation.  We can be leaders of reform, not distrust and vile and vulgar fear.  We can halt our minds from being hoodwinked by media and politicians and the unknowing masses.  We can listen to the truth in our all-knowing heart.  

What do you value?  Do you value love?  And inclusiveness?  Peace and safety for your family?

Or do you subscribe to fear - that there is not enough and that we have to fight to keep what we have?  That money and entitlement are more important then equality? That strangers will kill us in our sleep? (Fact: that is more likely to be the man that you are/were in a relationship with.)

​Being the great-great-great granddaughter of a convict and a potato famine refugee I feel that I have no right to exclude those in need, those who have been persecuted and tortured.  #whitehypocracy 

She was somebody's child.   As I think of her my heart breaks - we all want our children to be safe, and loved and fed and happy.  The nightmare of children being alone is unbearable.

We have the sovereign power to change everything. To bring peace and love, and stop the cycle of war, debt, separation, exclusion and fear.

We are powerful enough to choose love over hate.  Be a #warrioroflight because #fearkeepsusweak.

I will not be the bum-bitch of fear and hate.

I.  Choose.  Love.

Posting seemingly innocent photos of your child or teen has a sinister outcome that you may never have considered.

WARNING: 
THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE CONTAINS ADULT CONCEPTS AND EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

Your child or teen could be a poster child for a pedophile ring - and you may never know.
​
Australia made world news in 2016 with a website trading explicit photos of local school girls.   The site even had pages dedicated to local Brisbane and Gold Coast high schools and fan pages - offering money to men who could find more explicit photos of their favourites.

Attempts to close down the site have been thwarted in a brazen disregard of the law.  And these girls, whose images have been used without consent, could be to this day, oblivious.

Police CANNOT ALWAYS LOCATE YOU if photos of your children have been found to be used in connection with pedophile rings.  Due to the ability to mask IP addresses and identities with overseas servers and false identities it is not always possible to link an identity to these photos.  There are even sites dedicated to teaching online predators how to cover their tracks.

A photo of your child could be part of a pedophilia ring that has been uncovered by Police, and you wont even know about it.

The Task Force I worked for busts pedophile rings - and makes arrests of pedophiles in our neighbourhood.  This article is an insight into what they do, and how close to your home they come to arrest offenders.

A pedophile or predator will not play fair, nor think like the average person.  They therefore look at images and their erotic 'potential' differently to how the average population does.

Here are some things that pedophiles may find attractive when looking at photos on social media:

• The obvious stuff - like children in bathers, underwear, having a bath, or in a state of undress.   Even well placed emoticons covering your child's genitals can be photoshopped off and genitals photoshopped back on to increase the 'value' of the photo. You can take me to South Bank beach at Brisbane on any given day and I will be able to point out lone males taking photos of children.... your children.   And yes - Police do patrol this and regularly confiscate cameras and phones.  I have seen it happen meters away from parents and they are completely and utterly oblivious.  The Police do not have to approach the parents, because it is not an element of the offence to have a complainant.  Importantly, there is rarely time in these situations to locate and talk to the parents about what has just happened - Police are too busy dealing with the offender.
• The less obvious stuff that predators find irresistible: like photos that they can alter to make your child or teen look they are part of a sexual act.   These photos can be altered to have a male person in the photo in a state of arousal.  Or they can simply overlay a lewd comment so that the photo becomes a pedophile photo 'meme'.
• Children of social media celebrities.  The more photos posted, and the more coverage the images gain, the more likely they are to come to the attention to pedophile groups and be subjected to their monstrous conversations and attentions.  Similar to a teenage crush of a pop star, these photos become a platform for imaginings, fantasies and lewd behaviours.  The internet has now allowed predators to openly discuss their fetishes, and because they have the support of their monstrous tribe, they now have a place to 'normalise' and 'strategise' dysfunctional thoughts and fantasies.

Things to consider when posting photos of your children:

• Is there enough room to 'superimpose' another figure into the image?*
• Are they in a state of undress (even with emoticons placed modestly - these can be removed and body parts can be photo shopped in).
• Do you have a public social media page?  Pedophiles can develop 'child crushes' and the child does not have to be posed or in a state of undress for the photo to become a commodity.

*  I used to pray that when I saw a photo of a baby in a nappy and a sexually aroused man in the image that the image was 'superimposed'.  I didn't always receive this comfort from the government classifier or the photographic specialists.   This is is the horrific reality of child sex crimes and trafficking in the 21st century.  There is one photo in particular that I remember which causes me pain daily - a 6 month old in just a nappy with the most beautiful angelic smile laying on a bed - and a naked man entering the babies bedroom.   This child looked like my babies - your babies.  And the horror that I could not reach through that screen and save that child scratches at my brain. 

Things to be considered with your teens social media images:

1. Duck faces and posed photos are used as baseline trading images on predator sites.
2. Swimwear and underwear shots become more valuable.
3. If their account is public then the predator 'ring' can approach friends (or enemies) of the teen and pay money for more explicit photos.

It has taken over a decade for me to write this post because I know that I will have re-visted images and situations from my career that haunt me.  There was a time when I would physical hit my head and moan to stop the memories - but I hope that I have now developed better coping strategies.   I now have a practice of offering it 'up', or surrender.  I take the time to do a short meditation where I hand the image and the horror over.  This then allows me to focus on the present.   If it re-surfaces I repeat... repeat, repeat repeat - just like my rules of self defence.  Because to submit is not an option for me - or my children.

If you have been affected by this article please make an appointment with your GP.

Or ring lifeline.  Or the sexual assault helpline.

Here are some things you may need to know when reporting sexual abuse.

Empower yourself and your family with an online interactive self defence e-book.  Because self defence isn't something that you had 'wished' you had learned.