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Empower Yourself with RAVES

Articles, Stories and Public  Safety Content

The Day My Beach Bag (and Dignity) Was Stolen

15/2/2024

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Calmer times before the great beach bag heist.
When I had my two year old son, my other half was going up to the Sunshine Coast for a job interview (my favourite place on earth), so it seemed like a great idea for my toddler and I to swim while he was doing the biz.

What a day that turned out to be.

I packed all my toddler and Mummy essentials: food, water, fresh clothes, sleepy love-love toys, mobile phone, wallet to buy food, keys to the house/ car..... I considered the risks of taking all these valuables but thought I had no other choice, and thought I was hyper-vigelent enough for it not to be an issue.

And we headed off to Mooloolaba - beautiful, popular, criminal ridden playground of Australia's eastern coast.

I plonked up the front of the breakers with my Mammoth Mummy bag brimming with essentials, and wadded in the shallows with my pent up energy boy toddler- frequently turning back to see if my bag - only metres away - was safe where I left it.

I then turned to lift my delighted toddler boy from a rogue white wave, turned back and - bag - she was gone.

I thought... "No - I've misplace it???"

But then I thought, no, you freaking fool, no, just ask - just yell.....

"DID SOMEONE JUST STEAL MY BAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!"

The general population of the beach sheepishly looked up, and a few lovely Mums rushed over and said, "A woman in black jeans just ran over and grabbed it, she was looking around so we thought she knew you..."

RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!

I had nothing but my kinis, and my two year old.

Nothing.

A woman offered to look after my son because I may have mentioned I was going to hunt the bitch down.... but, I politely declined the well intentioned offer (my son, after all, is irreplaceable).

And I ran, with my two year old, up and down the main street until I hailed down the local police, and gave them the description.

I asked them if they had the "Find my phone app...." but blank gazes told me, "No."

So I gave them my other half's phone number (unanswered due to important biz stuff) and asked if they could hunt. I had nothing. And I also hunted. Offenders will always run to the left. Almost always. So I went left. And I was later that is exactly what she did.

I then ran to the bank with my toddler (in togs) to beg for cards to be cancelled, and begged for drinks of water (it was 35 degrees and climbing).

I then jogged to the nearby Police shop front - in bikinis- and asked if we could sit in the air con and try phone numbers.

In the mean time, the magic of my smart baby father was contacted and launched 'Find my phone.' And he found my phone - metres away from the left hand turn where I had been looking. It was in an industrial bin that had been emptied only hours earlier.

They then found her. She had used my money for methadone. I never got my money back. But I got my wallet and keys (and baby sleepy love-love toys). The stuff that matters

And now you must benefit from this story.....

Here's my red hot safety tip....

DON'T PACK UP YOUR BELONGINGS (keys/ wallet/ phone/ towel) in one ONE BAG.

It is too easy for a grub to run along and pinch in one heart breaking blow: and then you are completely screwed.

Do:

1. Leave what valuables you can in your locked glove box.

2. Put your keys/ phone in a waterproof ziplock bag {there are also safes that you can buy to secret on your car marketed to surfers to stow their keys}.

3. Bring only a small amount of absolutely necessary money if you can't walk back to your car - never your wallet. Never.

4. Put big less valuable items like clothing and towels in your big bag.... and then SCATTER THEM. Don't make them easy to steal in one hit.

5. Look around at the population for potential threats - people wearing jeans and a hoodie aren't there for the refreshing recreation.

6. Hide/ bury your keys/ phone under sand/ foliage if you are swimming.

7. If there is a nice family nearby, let them know you are going for a swim and ask (very nicely) if they might mind keeping an eye on your stuff - for every arsehole there is out there, there are so many kind, decent people. (Insert heart filled with love here).

8. If you look and see your stuff is missing - don't be embarrassed - yell at the top of your voice "Did someone take my bag????" Grubs have an advantage of you looking around like a dork, thinking you are going crazy. And hey - if you did just misplace it, you got to have a good yell and got rid of some adrenalin.

9. Remember - people get taken advantage of due to 'embarrassment'. If something is wrong let people know!

10. Minimise risk! Recognise, Assess, Vocalise, Engage or Escape.

Nobody wants a personal protections specialist that never has anything 'real life' happen to her, fortunately, I learn from my mistakes...
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The Orphan Who Was Almost Choked to Death

22/5/2023

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I have a story in me, that is niggling at my skull to be let out.

In 2018 I taught female refugees who are survivors of prolonged torture and violence.  

I will let that sentence sink in.

I met one young girl - 17 years old  from Afghanistan.  She had shrapnel scaring over her face, and a really funky Rolling Stones t-shirt.

During a break she stood quietly by herself, and I asked about her story.  I asked about her family.

"All dead," she said.

I will let that sink in.

She had limited english - she had only been in Australia for 8 months.  A male family friend smuggled her into a Greek refugee camp.  One night she awoke to find this "Uncle" on top of her.  When she tried to scream he tried to rip her trachea from her throat to silence her.

He is now in jail for attempted murder in Greece.  Any of my Police colleagues who have worked for the Feds or UN know that she must have very nearly been decapitated for this charge to have 'got up'.

I asked her what she wanted to be?
She said, "I just want to learn, to go to school, to learn."

She is utterly alone in this world.  Alone, utterly deprived of a childhood and family and safety from the moment she was born.  

But we can do something.  This is not just about money.  We can also choose what words we use, what thoughts we have, what energy we give out, choose love over fear.  Choose connection instead of separation.  We can be leaders of reform, not distrust and vile and vulgar fear.  We can halt our minds from being hoodwinked by media and politicians and the unknowing masses.  We can listen to the truth in our all-knowing heart.  

What do you value?  Do you value love?  And inclusiveness?  Peace and safety for your family?

Or do you subscribe to fear - that there is not enough and that we have to fight to keep what we have?  That money and entitlement are more important then equality? That strangers will kill us in our sleep? (Fact: that is more likely to be the man that you are/were in a relationship with.)

​Being the great-great-great granddaughter of a convict and a potato famine refugee I feel that I have no right to exclude those in need, those who have been persecuted and tortured.  #whitehypocracy 

She was somebody's child.   As I think of her my heart breaks - we all want our children to be safe, and loved and fed and happy.  The nightmare of children being alone is unbearable.

We have the sovereign power to change everything. To bring peace and love, and stop the cycle of war, debt, separation, exclusion and fear.

We are powerful enough to choose love over hate.  Be a #warrioroflight because #fearkeepsusweak.

I will not be the bum-bitch of fear and hate.

I.  Choose.  Love.
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What predators look for when you post photos of your children.

22/5/2023

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Posting seemingly innocent photos of your child or teen has a sinister outcome that you may never have considered.

WARNING: 
THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE CONTAINS ADULT CONCEPTS AND EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

Your child or teen could be a poster child for a pedophile ring - and you may never know.
​

Australia made world news in 2016 with a website trading explicit photos of local school girls.   The site even had pages dedicated to local Brisbane and Gold Coast high schools and fan pages - offering money to men who could find more explicit photos of their favourites.

Attempts to close down the site have been thwarted in a brazen disregard of the law.  And these girls, whose images have been used without consent, could be to this day, oblivious.

Police CANNOT ALWAYS LOCATE YOU if photos of your children have been found to be used in connection with pedophile rings.  Due to the ability to mask IP addresses and identities with overseas servers and false identities it is not always possible to link an identity to these photos.  There are even sites dedicated to teaching online predators how to cover their tracks.

A photo of your child could be part of a pedophilia ring that has been uncovered by Police, and you wont even know about it.

The Task Force I worked for busts pedophile rings - and makes arrests of pedophiles in our neighbourhood.  This article is an insight into what they do, and how close to your home they come to arrest offenders.

A pedophile or predator will not play fair, nor think like the average person.  They therefore look at images and their erotic 'potential' differently to how the average population does.

Here are some things that pedophiles may find attractive when looking at photos on social media:

  • The obvious stuff - like children in bathers, underwear, having a bath, or in a state of undress.   Even well placed emoticons covering your child's genitals can be photoshopped off and genitals photoshopped back on to increase the 'value' of the photo. You can take me to South Bank beach at Brisbane on any given day and I will be able to point out lone males taking photos of children.... your children.   And yes - Police do patrol this and regularly confiscate cameras and phones.  I have seen it happen meters away from parents and they are completely and utterly oblivious.  The Police do not have to approach the parents, because it is not an element of the offence to have a complainant.  Importantly, there is rarely time in these situations to locate and talk to the parents about what has just happened - Police are too busy dealing with the offender.
  • The less obvious stuff that predators find irresistible: like photos that they can alter to make your child or teen look they are part of a sexual act.   These photos can be altered to have a male person in the photo in a state of arousal.  Or they can simply overlay a lewd comment so that the photo becomes a pedophile photo 'meme'.
  • Children of social media celebrities.  The more photos posted, and the more coverage the images gain, the more likely they are to come to the attention to pedophile groups and be subjected to their monstrous conversations and attentions.  Similar to a teenage crush of a pop star, these photos become a platform for imaginings, fantasies and lewd behaviours.  The internet has now allowed predators to openly discuss their fetishes, and because they have the support of their monstrous tribe, they now have a place to 'normalise' and 'strategise' dysfunctional thoughts and fantasies.

Things to consider when posting photos of your children:

  • Is there enough room to 'superimpose' another figure into the image?*
  • Are they in a state of undress (even with emoticons placed modestly - these can be removed and body parts can be photo shopped in).
  • Do you have a public social media page?  Pedophiles can develop 'child crushes' and the child does not have to be posed or in a state of undress for the photo to become a commodity.

*  I used to pray that when I saw a photo of a baby in a nappy and a sexually aroused man in the image that the image was 'superimposed'.  I didn't always receive this comfort from the government classifier or the photographic specialists.   This is is the horrific reality of child sex crimes and trafficking in the 21st century.  There is one photo in particular that I remember which causes me pain daily - a 6 month old in just a nappy with the most beautiful angelic smile laying on a bed - and a naked man entering the babies bedroom.   This child looked like my babies - your babies.  And the horror that I could not reach through that screen and save that child scratches at my brain. 

Things to be considered with your teens social media images:

  1. Duck faces and posed photos are used as baseline trading images on predator sites.
  2. Swimwear and underwear shots become more valuable.
  3. If their account is public then the predator 'ring' can approach friends (or enemies) of the teen and pay money for more explicit photos.

It has taken over a decade for me to write this post because I know that I will have re-visted images and situations from my career that haunt me.  There was a time when I would physical hit my head and moan to stop the memories - but I hope that I have now developed better coping strategies.   I now have a practice of offering it 'up', or surrender.  I take the time to do a short meditation where I hand the image and the horror over.  This then allows me to focus on the present.   If it re-surfaces I repeat... repeat, repeat repeat - just like my rules of self defence.  Because to submit is not an option for me - or my children.

If you have been affected by this article please make an appointment with your GP.

Or ring lifeline.  Or the sexual assault helpline.

Here are some things you may need to know when reporting sexual abuse.

Empower yourself and your family with an online interactive self defence e-book.  Because self defence isn't something that you had 'wished' you had learned.

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Feel the need to scream about the violence in our community?  Me too...

17/4/2023

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We had more breaks in our street over the weekend.
​
Our Police are at capacity... who would want to be a police officer? No one apparently, in 2-3 years the Qld Union head said there will be NO ONE TO RESPOND TO YOUR CALLS.

WAIT. We can do something. We all can. We can educate ourselves. We can demand our taxes stop being lost in bureaucracy and dodgy grants for morning teas and website development.

You can copy and paste this your you local councillor, state rep, your school - P&C, or F. Imagine a world free of fear that is safe for everyone. Go for it:
Dear local elected member/ school representative:
​
Thank you for your stated values of for local safety, protection for our children and working with the community.

The last 5 years have seen the home invasions and domestic violence incidents in our area triple according to the latest QPS stats release.
I am fully aware of severe Police understaffing, recruitment and moral issues and lack of detention facilities. This problem is not going away anytime soon, and another local community member should not be killed during another home invasion, sexual assault or domestic violence attack when these education programs are readily available to empower our community.
Education and personal empowerment strategies are the key to a healthy individual and hence, a thriving community.

I believe that we have access to this education within our community and I am interested in having this program readily available. Erin is a former QPS detective who is now one of the only insured/ recognised self defence and public safety experts in Australia delivering the RAVES self defence and violence prevention system (www.RAVESselfdefence.com). The methods taught are not martial arts based and do not required protracted practice and commitment and are aimed at our most vulnerable: children, women and the elderly. Erin has apprehended offenders in her home, and has extensive history apprehending violent offenders during her 12 years as an operational police officer. She has tertiary and VET level qualifications in public safety, investigations, adult learning, human performance, policy and victim empowerment.

RAVES self defence has delivered violence prevention and respectful relationship programs to local and State Govt Organisation for over 17 years. As you would be aware recent QLD Work Health and Safety Act and regulations mandate workplaces are now legally responsible for managing psychosocial hazards: and violence prevention and reslience education would be seen as a minimum proactive priority at our schools and workplaces.

RAVES self defence is sponsored by Domestic Violence prevention organisations and has delivered to over 40 schools as part of their child protection, consent and respectful relationships and pastoral care programs, and to seniors as they prepare for schoolies and adult life.
RAVES has an extensive library of personal safety education programs that would be useful for newsletters and public safety campaigns that workplaces, schools and government organisations very welcome to access and use.
RAVES is delivered all over Australia yet is under utilised in the North Brisbane local area.

If you see a potential to incorporate the RAVES program or use of RAVES public safety information please reach out and make a meeting a priority.
www.RAVESselfdence.com
[email protected]
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This person keeps touching me when nobody is looking.  What do I do?

16/2/2023

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Have these quips ready

12/10/2022

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I talk a lot about the systematic programming that hijacks our amygdala and puts us in a freeze or fawn state whenever we are confronted with aggressive behaviours.  

But how do we overcome it?  How do we prevent 2am wake ups where we get stuck in an imaginary conversation peppered with "I should have said..."?

We create habit sentences. Which means we use these sentences frequently so they become second nature.   Here are some examples of habit sentences that you can add to your personal protection trusty tool kit.

When I teach SAFE WORKSPACE DE-ESCALATION STRATEGIES I am delighted by some of the habit sentences that call centre staff and receptionists use.  

​Let me know what has worked for you ?
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Hacks to De-escalate ANGER

12/10/2022

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There are strategic physical hacks that we can make habitual to dealing effectively with conflict... give these a crack and let me know what works for you.

And let work know you would love some WORKSAFE De-escalation Training to suit your works space.
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Changes Need to Happen Before Sexual Assaults have Consequences

27/4/2022

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Let’s look at our solutions…

Join myself and Lucretia from Medusa’s Mic Podcast when we dive into the topics of reporting sexual assault and the services available to those who are affected. I am all about the empowerment and advocacy and creating change…. We discuss the importance of shifting the narrative and conditioning to pull back the level of sexual violence we’re seeing in today’s society.   Sexual violence hurts everybody.
Listen Now
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Your teens tell me about their sexual assault experiences.

27/4/2022

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Their experiences: Why they won’t report

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I dip my toe into the trauma responses I experience as a result of being an online covert in the highly dysfunctional and sexualised world of online grooming.

Join myself and Lucretia from Medusa’s Mic Podcast as we dive into the following:

​We discuss my career with the Queensland Police, including my time with Task Force Argos, the branch responsible for the investigation of online child exploitation and abuse. This episode provides great insights into the societal conditioning women face every day and why they are often afraid to speak up. Listen out for strategies designed to empower young girls and women to verbalise their experiences, reduce their negative self-talk and respond to the trauma of sexual violence.
​
Listen Here
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Thinking of going to RAVES self defence with your pre-teen?   Worried about talking about sexual assault?

23/11/2021

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Tanya Allan - a real story teller paints the RAVES picture for you.

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If you think your daughter or son is too young to learn to defend themselves against sexual and / or violent assault, the uncomfortable question I have for you – are they too young to be the victim of sexual violence?  
 
Then they’re not too young to learn how to defend themselves.
 
My daughter Lara is 11. She and I went to Erin’s Self Defence workshop today – for humans aged 10 to 110. 
 
It’s a no nonsense, fact driven, jam packed 1.5 hours of the best, practical self-defence tips on the planet. Pro defence tips Lara and I could equally perform. 
 
Today, people mostly came in pairs, men and women together, a father and a son, girlfriends, a mother and her son and daughter, and Lara and me. 
 
We invited several friends who struggled with deciding if talking about sexual assault, and violence was age appropriate for their kids. They didn’t come, which I think is a travesty, and here’s why.
 
We all walk around in a Pollyanna state or a positivity bias. Basically, this is a very clever trick our brains play on us, making us focus on the optimistic. 
 
It’s the principle that makes us think that ‘bad things happen to OTHER people’. It’s the tool that allows us to leave the house and go about our day because if we focussed on every little thing that could go wrong (like car accidents, strikes of lightning… and sexual assault) we’d never leave the house. 
 
We all need a little Pollyanna to put aside the risks we have no control over.
 
Brace yourself because I’m about the burst your Pollyanna bubble… depending on the optimism of the study you’re reading; our kids are at a risk of 1 in 3 of being the victims of sexual assault by the time they finish high school. 
 
ONE IN THREE! Holy smokes. When I read that my blood ran cold. If not my kids, it’s sure as hell going to be a friend of theirs. 
 
How do I equip them to defend themselves against that, how do I equip them to support friends through that?
 
The answer is simple. In the same way I wouldn’t expect them to learn a new language or sport without coaching, I don’t expect them to know how to respond to violence without coaching.
 
And this is the plan – Erin is the coach for you, your friends, your kids, against violence. 
 
Erin isn’t a scare monger. You’ll never hear her standing up in front of a class and scaring them with details of an attack. Rather she empowers us with super simple strategies ‘if this happens… this is how you stop it’. 
 
If my children DO need to defend themselves against sexual violence I sure as hell don’t want the very notion of sexual violence to be a surprise to them. 
 
We need to know what that is going to feel like, and what to do when it happens. 
 
Delivered in a very non confronting way, Erin teaches self-defence strategies regardless of your fitness or mobility. These are strategies that Lara, at 11, would be able to use as easily as me or my mum, my sisters, or the mountain of women in my life that I adore. 
 
I believe, really strongly, that talking about what we'd do in the event of violence, and sexual violence, means that (Goddess Forbid) my children, or yours, or you or I will have the presence of mind to be able to ACT if the worst happens. We’ll be able to rage, and shove, and gouge and fight and get away, rather than freeze at the very idea. 
 
What we practice, we get better at.
 
My son and I are attending Erin’s next workshop together. Then we’ll all go together a couple of times a year. 
 
What we practice, we get better at. 
 
Tanya Allan
RAVES Self Defence
Nov 2021
Sweat Depot, Enoggera
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  • Ask me a question
  • Erin Cash - the founder of RAVES Self defence
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