R.A.V.E.S. SELF DEFENCE
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Empower Yourself with RAVES

This person keeps touching me when nobody is looking.  What do I do?

16/2/2023

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Have these quips ready

12/10/2022

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I talk a lot about the systematic programming that hijacks our amygdala and puts us in a freeze or fawn state whenever we are confronted with aggressive behaviours.  

But how do we overcome it?  How do we prevent 2am wake ups where we get stuck in an imaginary conversation peppered with "I should have said..."?

We create habit sentences. Which means we use these sentences frequently so they become second nature.   Here are some examples of habit sentences that you can add to your personal protection trusty tool kit.

When I teach SAFE WORKSPACE DE-ESCALATION STRATEGIES I am delighted by some of the habit sentences that call centre staff and receptionists use.  

​Let me know what has worked for you ?
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Hacks to De-escalate ANGER

12/10/2022

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There are strategic physical hacks that we can make habitual to dealing effectively with conflict... give these a crack and let me know what works for you.

And let work know you would love some WORKSAFE De-escalation Training to suit your works space.
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Changes Need to Happen Before Sexual Assaults have Consequences

27/4/2022

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Let’s look at our solutions…

Join myself and Lucretia from Medusa’s Mic Podcast when we dive into the topics of reporting sexual assault and the services available to those who are affected. I am all about the empowerment and advocacy and creating change…. We discuss the importance of shifting the narrative and conditioning to pull back the level of sexual violence we’re seeing in today’s society.   Sexual violence hurts everybody.
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Your teens tell me about their sexual assault experiences.

27/4/2022

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Their experiences: Why they won’t report

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I dip my toe into the trauma responses I experience as a result of being an online covert in the highly dysfunctional and sexualised world of online grooming.

Join myself and Lucretia from Medusa’s Mic Podcast as we dive into the following:

​We discuss my career with the Queensland Police, including her time with Task Force Argos, the branch responsible for the investigation of online child exploitation and abuse. Erin provides great insights into the societal conditioning women face every day and why they are often afraid to speak up. Erin empowers young girls and women with the skills they need to verbalise their experiences, reduce their negative self-talk and respond to the trauma of sexual violence.
​
Listen Here
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Thinking of going to RAVES self defence with your pre-teen?   Worried about talking about sexual assault?

23/11/2021

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Tanya Allan - a real story teller paints the RAVES picture for you.

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If you think your daughter or son is too young to learn to defend themselves against sexual and / or violent assault, the uncomfortable question I have for you – are they too young to be the victim of sexual violence?  
 
Then they’re not too young to learn how to defend themselves.
 
My daughter Lara is 11. She and I went to Erin’s Self Defence workshop today – for humans aged 10 to 110. 
 
It’s a no nonsense, fact driven, jam packed 1.5 hours of the best, practical self-defence tips on the planet. Pro defence tips Lara and I could equally perform. 
 
Today, people mostly came in pairs, men and women together, a father and a son, girlfriends, a mother and her son and daughter, and Lara and me. 
 
We invited several friends who struggled with deciding if talking about sexual assault, and violence was age appropriate for their kids. They didn’t come, which I think is a travesty, and here’s why.
 
We all walk around in a Pollyanna state or a positivity bias. Basically, this is a very clever trick our brains play on us, making us focus on the optimistic. 
 
It’s the principle that makes us think that ‘bad things happen to OTHER people’. It’s the tool that allows us to leave the house and go about our day because if we focussed on every little thing that could go wrong (like car accidents, strikes of lightning… and sexual assault) we’d never leave the house. 
 
We all need a little Pollyanna to put aside the risks we have no control over.
 
Brace yourself because I’m about the burst your Pollyanna bubble… depending on the optimism of the study you’re reading; our kids are at a risk of 1 in 3 of being the victims of sexual assault by the time they finish high school. 
 
ONE IN THREE! Holy smokes. When I read that my blood ran cold. If not my kids, it’s sure as hell going to be a friend of theirs. 
 
How do I equip them to defend themselves against that, how do I equip them to support friends through that?
 
The answer is simple. In the same way I wouldn’t expect them to learn a new language or sport without coaching, I don’t expect them to know how to respond to violence without coaching.
 
And this is the plan – Erin is the coach for you, your friends, your kids, against violence. 
 
Erin isn’t a scare monger. You’ll never hear her standing up in front of a class and scaring them with details of an attack. Rather she empowers us with super simple strategies ‘if this happens… this is how you stop it’. 
 
If my children DO need to defend themselves against sexual violence I sure as hell don’t want the very notion of sexual violence to be a surprise to them. 
 
We need to know what that is going to feel like, and what to do when it happens. 
 
Delivered in a very non confronting way, Erin teaches self-defence strategies regardless of your fitness or mobility. These are strategies that Lara, at 11, would be able to use as easily as me or my mum, my sisters, or the mountain of women in my life that I adore. 
 
I believe, really strongly, that talking about what we'd do in the event of violence, and sexual violence, means that (Goddess Forbid) my children, or yours, or you or I will have the presence of mind to be able to ACT if the worst happens. We’ll be able to rage, and shove, and gouge and fight and get away, rather than freeze at the very idea. 
 
What we practice, we get better at.
 
My son and I are attending Erin’s next workshop together. Then we’ll all go together a couple of times a year. 
 
What we practice, we get better at. 
 
Tanya Allan
RAVES Self Defence
Nov 2021
Sweat Depot, Enoggera
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A message for grade 12's as they embark on schoolies.

11/10/2021

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To all my grade 12's....  You've almost done it... you are almost there.
BUT.  Life isn't just about your grades and what you are going to do next year.
All of this means nothing if your mental health and safety are jeopardised.

The biggest test in life is... wait for it.... life itself.

Let this old woman who has survived high school, uni, and a Police dormitory before even reaching 21 give you some advice for you and your friends about how to be safe as you embark into independent living situations with its inherent exposure to alcohol, drugs and sex famously paired with peer pressure, impaired environmental awareness and the characteristic teen  'c'est la vie' brain.
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What predators look for when you post photos of your children.

15/9/2021

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Posting seemingly innocent photos of your child or teen has a sinister outcome that you may never have considered.
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WARNING: 
THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE CONTAINS ADULT CONCEPTS.  PLEASE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND DO NOT ENGAGE IF YOU ARE FEELING MENTALLY UNWELL.

Your child or teen could be a poster child for a pedophile ring - and you may never know.  Australia made world news in 2016 with a website trading explicit photos of local school girls.   The site even had pages dedicated to local Brisbane and Gold Coast high schools and fan pages - offering money to men who could find more explicit photos of their favourites.

Attempts to close down the site have been thwarted in a brazen disregard of the law.  And these girls, whose images have been used without consent, could be to this day, oblivious.

Police CANNOT ALWAYS LOCATE YOU if photos of your children have been found to be used in connection with pedophile rings.  Due to the ability to mask IP addresses and identities with overseas servers and false identities it is not always possible to link an identity to these photos.  There are even sites dedicated to teaching online predators how to cover their tracks.

A photo of your child could be part of a pedophilia ring that has been uncovered by Police, and you wont even know about it.

The Task Force I worked for busts pedophile rings - and makes arrests of pedophiles in our neighbourhood.  This article is an insight into what they do, and how close to your home they come to arrest offenders.


A pedophile or predator will not play fair, nor think like the average person.  They therefore look at images and their erotic 'potential' differently to how the average population does.

Here are some things that pedophiles may find attractive when looking at photos on social media:


  • The obvious stuff - like children in bathers, underwear, having a bath, or in a state of undress.   Even well placed emoticons covering your child's genitals can be photoshopped off and genitals photoshopped back on to increase the 'value' of the photo. You can take me to South Bank beach at Brisbane on any given day and I will be able to point out lone males taking photos of children.... your children.   And yes - Police do patrol this and regularly confiscate cameras and phones.  I have seen it happen meters away from parents and they are completely and utterly oblivious.  The Police do not have to approach the parents, because it is not an element of the offence to have a complainant.  Importantly, there is rarely time in these situations to locate and talk to the parents about what has just happened - Police are too busy dealing with the offender.
  • The less obvious stuff that predators find irresistible: like photos that they can alter to make your child or teen look they are part of a sexual act.   These photos can be altered to have a male person in the photo in a state of arousal.  Or they can simply overlay a lewd comment so that the photo becomes a pedophile photo 'meme'.
  • Children of social media celebrities.  The more photos posted, and the more coverage the images gain, the more likely they are to come to the attention to pedophile groups and be subjected to their monstrous conversations and attentions.  Similar to a teenage crush of a pop star, these photos become a platform for imaginings, fantasies and lewd behaviours.  The internet has now allowed predators to openly discuss their fetishes, and because they have the support of their monstrous tribe, they now have a place to 'normalise' and 'strategise' dysfunctional thoughts and fantasies.

Things to consider when posting photos of your children:

  • Is there enough room to 'superimpose' another figure into the image?*
  • Are they in a state of undress (even with emoticons placed modestly - these can be removed and body parts can be photo shopped in).
  • Do you have a public social media page?  Pedophiles can develop 'child crushes' and the child does not have to be posed or in a state of undress for the photo to become a commodity.​

Things to be considered with your teens social media images:

  • Duck faces and posed photos are used as baseline trading images on predator sites.
  • Swimwear and underwear shots become more valuable.
  • If their account is public then the predator 'ring' can approach friends (or enemies) of the teen and pay money for more explicit photos.

*  I used to pray that when I saw a photo of a baby in a nappy and a sexually aroused man in the image that the image was 'superimposed'.  I didn't always receive this comfort from the government classifier or the photographic specialists.   This is is the horrific reality of child sex crimes and trafficking in the 21st century.  There is one photo in particular that I remember which causes me pain daily - a 6 month old in just a nappy with the most innocent smile laying on a bed - and a naked man entering the babies bedroom.   This child looked like my babies - your babies.  And the horror that I could not  save that child scratches at my brain. 

It has taken over a decade for me to write this post... There was a time when I would physical hit my head and moan to stop the memories - but I hope that I have now developed better coping strategies. I have a practice of offering it 'up, or surrender. I take the time to do a short meditation where I hand the image and the horror over.  Usually I hand it over to the Goddess Kali, who feasts on the depravity of men. She is glorious and terrifying. As am I. This then allows me to focus on the present. If it re-surfaces I repeat... repeat, repeat repeat - just like my rules of self defence. Because to succumb to the mental abyss of someone else's darkness is not an option for me - or for raising healthy children.

If you have been affected by this article please make an appointment with your Doctor and click in the attached link for more referral options to support you. Good on you! Personal responsiblity burns this dysfunction to the ground! I'm off to stoke the fire right now...

Click here for more information on what you may need to know when reporting sexual abuse.


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Empower yourself and your family with an online interactive self defence e-book. Because self defence isn't something that you had 'wished' you had learned.
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The concept of KISSING in self defence

13/8/2021

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The RAVES system of self defence has two pronged approach to self defence that considers the K.I.S.S. option.

K.I.S.S. could mean Keep It Simple Keep It Sweet (placation)
K.I.S.S. could mean Keep them In cloSe (pull them close, twist their neck).

For too long male dominated self defence has failed to consider the following options for woman in life threatening sexual assault scenarios:


1.  Doing nothing (at the time).  Often in domestic violence situations the option of doing nothing means that you survive the moment, to escape for a lifetime.  This is something mothers have instinctively done for human millennia to keep their children safe - often at the expense of their own safety.  But this option must not last forever.  The next option is to escape, and for family and friends and society to have a safe haven for them to escape too.

2. Placation.  Placation is the ancient art of foxing, and dare I say it - seduction.   Don't go all defence balls on me - you have to read this in its entirety.  Because it's hard to hear.  Just like rape, sodomy and degradation is hard to experience. 

Placation stops the fear centre (the amygdala) that inhibits a survivors creative thought process.  Bit hard to be creative when your life is being threatened right?  But placation is a skill that can be taught - it opens the brain from the fear centre to access the greater brain.  From here people can access the teaching that ALL OFFENDERS are operating from a psychotic brain.  A psychotic brain has daydreamed (like a film running in their head) about eliciting fear from a person and enjoys the adrenalin rush and reward hormones that result from acting out their imagined attack.

An offender is all about the fear.  It is never about the sex.  


Sex is a by product of the fear. In fact, if you have a look at the psychology of hard core sexual offenders you will see that the majority of them do not masterbate. This, according to human behavioural experts, would indicate that they are largely sexually dysfunctional.


Which is why I proudly (and unabashedly) teach early childhood educators about removing shame when talking about gender and sex - they can, quite literally, change a potential mass murderers genetic pre-determined tendencies toward psycotic behaviours with love and open minded teaching without judgement or attachment of guilt.

So... this is a little story that I use to reinforce the placation - or K.I.S.S principle - of self defence (names, facts, countries, and clown customers have been changed in order to reinforce the learning).*
A woman was closing up her dry cleaning shop for the day.  A man with a sawn-off shot gun enters.  The woman, in shock, believes he wants the takings of the day, but he instead demands sexual acts.  He forces the gun into her mouth.  The woman instinctively knows she is not going to survive this, and there is only one thing that she can control -  she will show him no fear.  She looks him in the eye and pretends like she is enjoying the depravity.   This action, in turn, derails the show-reel of madness in his head, deflates his aggression (literally), and results in him zipping up his pants and walking out of the shop.  Her remarkable resolve leaves him flaccid and her with enough evidence on her person to link him to 52 other victims buried statewide in remote desert locations.
*If you are like me and you gotta know real life stories then search survivor's: Rose Steward, Jennifer Asbenson, and Alison (first name only) the South African throat cut survivor.  Their stories are first hand accounts of the superhuman ability to survive.

So you may need to placate... but you can also Keep them In cloSe in order to use a fundamental rule of self defence.

Move in close to use momentum (not force) in order to TWIST a weak point (thumb, wrist, neck?) and effect escape.

Attackers often move to silence women... this is me and my version of lipless kissing.

Maybe you would move to kiss, then headbut.

But I always teach - you must go FULL OUT - or go back to your option of 'no action, at the moment'.  Because to go into this lightly, or with too much Princess Pansy Hands, could escalate an offenders already frenzied madness.

Unlike martial arts, your moves are not limited to your repetitive training, but they are unlimited due to the teaching methods to unlock your physical and mental potential.

This is the RAVES method.  Recognise, Assess, Vocalise, Escape and Survive.

Because if I can keep one woman safe, then my late night rants are worth it.

For more information on my personal protection and self defence courses
check out what is on.


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A Sexual Assault Guide for every phone, house, school, bedroom around the world

8/7/2021

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Find Out More
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    ERIN
    CASH

    Personal Protections Expert and Keynote Speaker.

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My friend and I were taught some great skills and had a lot of fun - such a serious topic but we had lots of laughs.  Erin is amazing -  she is warm and friendly and is really knowledgeable and experienced,  I did this years ago and am glad I did it again - my friend and I are going to try and do this yearly to keep it fresh in our minds.

​Hayley - Womens and Teens RAVES North Brisbane Self Defence 26/4/2019
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  • Ask me a question
  • Erin Cash - the founder of RAVES Self defence
  • RAVES Testimonials